my camera is missing.

which makes me very sad. we MAY know where it is, but i honestly don't have much hope in getting it back :(

this makes me sad because i'm going on an AWESOME 10day vacation involving a lot of really great people AND my future home. and... let's face it. i love the blackberry, but the picture quality isn't as fantastic as my camera.

tonight i am particularly sad i don't have it, however, is because i just picked the first baby sunflowers and zinnias of the season. i picked the best zinnias because my mom said that picking them encourages the plant to make more of them. aaaaand i have some AWESOME volunteers (seeds that fell off of dead plants last year and sprouted on their own...)

i picked a really ruffly one that is pink on the bottom ruffles and gets more and more red toward the top.

i picked a coral colored flower that has a purple ring around the center.

i picked a baby pink and light yellow one.

i picked an awesome coral colored one.

i have some great flowers, people. and no camera to capture them!! saaaad.

also: i am a country girl. i wish i could take a picture of myself picking green beans with charlie to prove it, but alas. (we're talkin 5 crawfish sacks full of beans just so far this week!)

confidence

"Thursday, January 06, 2005

Currently Reading The Catcher in the Rye By J.D. Salinger see related after my sister told me to read "hinds' feet on high places" before "mountains of spices" ( because a friend is borrowing the first), i decided to read "the catcher in the rye." it's a book that's been suggested to me by several friends... i'm glad to finally read it. i like the holden kid. he talked about how he starts to talk corny when he's around corny people. isn't it the truth? do you ever do that? not in a deceitful way like you're trying to hide who you are... but when you're talking to someone you don't like or you think is stuck up you'll just kind of go along with them? there are too many ackley's and stradlater's in the world. who thought i would read on christmas break? this is my 3rd book in 4 days. i don't read. i think it's the whole concept of not having to read for a class... but for me." i think it's funny that 6.5 years later i just had a very similar conversation along these lines with arisa and ethan at work. i was saying how i still get nervous around certain people and all my insecurities come out and i just start having word vomit... and things are coming out of my mouth and i have no control over it and i am just... so... awkward. and a lot of times it's with people i KNOW. that bring out stuff in me that i didn't think was there anymore. but then i talk to them, and it's like i revert back to the way i was years ago. i hate that. but i'm working on it. confidence stephanie, confidence. (i also like that the main person suggesting "the catcher in the rye"was none other than charlie loup :))

1865

THIS is a conversation i had at work the other day with a very old man-patient:

"Bay (that means babe) you know what i saw the otha' day that jus really turned my stomach?"

"No, sir... what did you see?" (at this point, i actually already knew where this conversation was going to go...)

"Bay, i went into Langlois' grocery, and i saw this pretty white lady. and she had nice skin and a fair complexion and curly blonde hair..."

"Yes, sir...?"

"and on her arm she had..." (he looked around the room and whispered) "a colored man..."

"Oh, that's how the world is today, Mr. Cajun" (like i said before, i knew this is how this conversation was going to go, and names have been changed to protect identities)

"and she was parading him around the store like she was PROUD of him or something. she was a pretty white lady, she could have a white man"

"well mr. cajun... she probably LOVES him. that is how the world is today."

"but you neva see that around HERE... but my wife told me i had better not say nothin because i have some granddaughters, and we never know what they will do."

"that's very true... you never know who they will fall in love with..." at which point i changed the subject because i knew it was very possible for either of us to say something very offensive to the other... and seeing how he is a patient, i didn't think a knock-out-drag-down fight with a 100 year old in the middle of the clinic would be a great idea. i actually forget there is racism here at times, and then i have a conversation like this that reminds me it is alive and well in certain individuals. when we had our lunch break, i told my coworkers and said "there are actually people like that still out there?!" apparently, there are, but i have met many more people who are not.

book #1

sooooo i just finished the first book on my book list:

aaaaand it was fantastic!! i am considering reading it a second time to reinforce what i learned reading it. basically, i want to be better at relationships. i want to be a safe person for people. i also want to recognize toxic relationships and let go of relationships from my past that just... aren't there anymore or are unsafe for me to be in.

here's a section i really liked:

"Emotional healing has many aspects to it, but one of the major pieces to healing any emotional disorder is grief. We need to grieve painful events, painful losses, love that will never be realized, dreams that have been crushed, and many other hurts that life inflicts upon us. All of these ultimately are healed through a grief process. This is why Jesus said, "Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted" (Matt 5:4). He also said that in order to grow, we have to be able to let go, to "lose" our old lives, and this is a grieving process of severe loss (Matt 16:25).

We cannot lose and grieve what we need to grieve without something new to attach to.

Grieving takes a new relationship. We must have God and others to connect to in order to let go of what we have lost. As Paul told the Corinthians, if they would connect to him, they could let go of their other "affections," or emotional ties that were "Restraining them": "¹¹ Oh, dear Corinthian friends! We have spoken honestly with you, and our hearts are open to you. ¹² There is no lack of love on our part, but you have withheld your love from us. ¹³ I am asking you to respond as if you were my own children. Open your hearts to us!" (2 Cor 6:11-13). Many people do not get healed because they never "open wide" to others in the body of Christ, thus gaining the support and new ground needed to stand on to grieve what they need to let go of. Healing without grief does not happen, and grief without support and new love does not happen either."


there are some things i need to bury, say goodbye to, and move on from. i'm new at this, but i'm excited. it means there's something fresh waiting.

i have bad luck with bridesmaid dresses...

some girls are cursed with really ugly bridesmaid dresses. fortunately, that is not my problem. i've only had one that i wasn't crazy about. i also find it interesting that in every wedding i have been in... the bridesmaid dress is at LEAST as expressive of the bride as the wedding gown.

okay, so you can't see this one very well. but this was the first wedding i was in for some friends right out of high school. i miss them. and unfortunately, i believe this marriage has dissolved.

wedding #2... my sister's. i love this picture. the little guy on the far right wanted to be in a picture with an American couple at a wedding :) but it was also a cute dress.

wedding #3. very elegant.

my own wedding and bridesmaid dress #4 which was a TOTAL disaster where i encouraged girls to buy them cheaply online and they were terrible knockoffs. BIG MISTAKE. i just liked the dress so much and couldn't ask them to pay so much for them (sorry risa :(... i'll pay you back one day!)

so NOW... here comes very exciting wedding number 5. (i hope this isn't terribly unkosher to put pictures of the dress before the wedding...?!) but i have a very dramatic story about it, and now that it's resolved, i just need to get it off of my chest.

SO. wedding is announced... and it's a short engagement! (yay short engagements! i HIGHLY recommend them!!) beautiful bride picks a bridesmaid dress and encourages us to order them PRONTO. the dresses fit the bride's personality perfectly. as they seem to be selling out online and in all locations. i go to baton rouge to anthropologie as quickly as i can... alas. dress is sold out in every size but one (which wasn't even CLOSE to fitting.) the store isn't exactly friendly and doesn't offer to order the correct size for me, but it's okay because i call other bridesmaid friend to see what size she thinks i should order, and go home immediately and order.

i anxiously await my dress.

it comes in the mail about a week later and i try it on... it's a little big, but i think it will work.

a couple days later i decide it's definitely too big and send it back with a request for another dress.

i get nervous and call about my order. they have run out of my size online. she encourages me to cancel my sent order and that she can call around to stores and have my correct size sent to me. i order said dress from her.

a week and a half later i get a terrifying message when i get home from work. all my orders have been canceled because they have run out of my size! i freak out. i have a final in 2 hours, but REALLY need to get this resolved, so i make another phone call. the guy i talk to encourages me to call stores myself and beg.

i call 4 stores, get put on hold multiple times, but FINALLY find a dress in berkley, CA!!

HALLELUJAH!

a week and a half later, my dress comes in. and fits PERFECTLY!


i know it's not a great picture.

shoes are cute, too! (i'm wearing heels! eek!)


also... i love punkin :)

xanga

so... i may or may not have spent all day copy and pasting my dear ole xanga into a new blogger blog so i can make a book out of it. that took... way longer than i would like to admit. maybe i shouldn't have dedicated my whole day to it? but i now have about 450 OLD blogs that i can commemorate into a book :)

i also may or may not have almost killed myself yesterday doing this:


it's called the "plow" or halasana. my neck... is furious. i should have listened to dear arisa who was too scared to do it instead of trying to talk her into it! psh.. what i get for pretending to be flexible!

melissa

blogging twice in one day. i'm WILD.

i feel like i need to give a shoutout to my bestie melissa... whose birthday was on Tuesday. that girl has stuck with me through thick and thin. she is even, steady, and loyal. and she's beautiful. thanks for always being there for me, mel. i love you. i can honestly say that i would NOT be the person i am today without you. you kept my head on straight when it was spinning.


i was thinking about melissa and how many things we've been through together. middle school... jr high... high school... college. and, although more distantly, post-college. sometimes i forget who i used to be. sometimes i have no memory (or poor memory) of the past and how i felt and who i was. in some ways, old friends are like a journal of your life.

i was reading my old xanga and remembering things i hadn't thought of in years... that's so odd. that rush of old feelings and old memories you didn't know were there. reading my old xanga is like being re-introduced to myself. i don't think of myself as changing that much... but i have. in some ways. and. in other ways i feel like i'm just recapping my day today. although possibly more articulately.

what am i doing? where am i going? am i a good friend? how do i live my life intentionally and passionately and moving in the direction of something good? why did that happen? when will this happen? God, I love you.

i feel things deeply. i always have, and i imagine i always will. but i know one thing. things always come back to "God, I love you." always. you can count on it. i have been through some dark times. i have been through sad things and hard things and stressful things and plenty of things i don't understand. but i know my God. and i know He is faithful. He will complete the good work He has started in me. even when my head is spinning. even when i can't exactly remember where i came from. even when i pout and drag my feet along. even when i'm scared and ask 10,000,000 questions. that i get no answers to ;)

anyway. i don't know if this will make sense to anyone else... but i'm just feeling overwhelmed with thankfulness right now.

the Disney G

When I was younger, I would have sworn to you that that "D" was a G. It took me YEARS to see it as a D. We're talking high school. On the Disney channel, they would usually just have that little G in the corner of the screen, and I could never understand why. Maybe it was because my last name was Galbo and I was a little over-occupied with that letter... I can see it as a D now, but it takes a little work. Sad much? haha

when pagans makeover safe people

this is possibly a really poor reflection of my personality, but i need some accountability here. i have a problem.

i start books... and never finish them.

it's a chronic condition i have been battling. a few years ago i went on a rampage to complete all of my half-read books. and it was awesome to actually finish all of them. so here i go again. now that i am officially finished with school until august 31st, i will complete all of my books!

here they are in order of beginning the read:

the river runneth over

soooo we took a trip to the morganza spillway today! i know this video and pictures will NOT give you the full picture of how awesome it is... and you also don't know what it looked like before... but just believe me. it is a LOT of water.


this is the levee protecting morganza from the spillway. yes... the grass at the bottom of the screen and the white sandbags across the water are the top of the levee system around morganza.

this is on the spillway side of the levee. (i think...) charlie said that the mississippi side is ACTUALLY called the spillway, but i'm calling this the spillway because that is where the water is "spilling" to. there usually is not much, if any, water on this side. you can tell from the tree tops how high the water is.

this is on the mississippi river side. you can note the water height by the trees, too.

again riding on the levee... this is how incredibly high the water is. we're not sure, but we think levees are approximately 40 feet high *edit(meaning 40ish feet above sea level. Morganza is approximately 20something feet above sea level and the levees are another 20something feet high making them about 40 feet.)

they are working across the "spillway" aka mississippi river side to sandbag and try to protect the levees.

the mighty mississippi

this is pretty historic, i am hearing... so for those of you who aren't down here hearing about it on the news and on the tip of everyone's lips, here's a video and article about the opening of the morganza spillway.

it's amazing to me for a few reasons:

1) it hasn't been opened in nearly 4 decades. that says a lot.

2) watch the water rush out of the gate. that's how much pressure is on all the levees. that... is awe inspiring to me. it also makes me pray the levees hold. fast forward the footage if you don't have 10 minutes to watch... it's worth it to see how quickly it floods.

3) wow.

go here

normal

okayokay so i'm avoiding studying for my final. i really just don't care any more. and i can fail it and still make an A, so that's even less motivating. perfect excuse to blog about something i was pondering.

last night i was complaining to charlie about some of the health issues i have and how i'm 24 and shouldn't be dealing with stuff like that yet and how particular i have to be with my diet and sleep and things i can or cannot physically do. it's frustrating. and i bellowed about how i just want to be normal.

but then i started thinking about "normal". there really isn't a "normal" for most things... what i've got to do is come to terms with what is "normal" for me... and then find peace there. i shouldn't compare myself to other people... i should only look at myself and my own strengths and limitations and make that the basis for how i live.

i'm not saying God doesn't do miracles or that He doesn't do exceedingly more with me than i can do on my own... i'm not saying that, so let's not even go there. i'm saying i have to live and be comfortable with my own natural, typical, every-day things. i have to take care of myself on the basis of what my body needs... not on what other bodies need.

okay, now that i've said the same thing 12 times, i suppose this post is finished :)

Arisa Joy

Happy Birthday Arisa Joy!

It kind of feels like I've known you forever... like you've always been a part of my life. You SO graciously invited me to come and live with you and Ashleigh in Baton Rouge when I graduated from college. I was nervous, but I am so glad I did. You went out of your way to make me feel welcome to Louisiana and to your family. Gustav was also kind of a good bonding experience :)

Then I moved out and married your baby brother...

Then you and Judah got married! And we became Aunts together shortly after. (Although, I suppose we became moms together first when we adopted siblings! haha)


THEN the real fun began as we started working together. Although I am NOT always the most pleasant/happy person at work, I am SO SO glad we had the opportunity to work together. All the memories we've built around CRAZY people... and the slow afternoons and friday field trips... I'm so thankful for that time we've had together. You have been instrumental in my life... a continuous encourager and friend.
You are fun, an AWESOME (step)mom, and loyal to the core. I am really going to miss you over the next two years!! It breaks my heart that I am going to miss out on some really big life changes for you! But I am thankful we have social media and that I know you well enough to bug you every day of your life for details and pictures :)

I love you, Arisa!! Thank you for being my friend! I know this year is going to be awesome, amazing, and full of joy and peace!

savings fund

when i was little, my parents (well, probably my mom) gave me a little cleaned-out tin can. probably a green bean can. that's probably the canned product we ate most often. she peeled off the label, gave me a large assortment of colorful, beachy, vacationy stickers, and had me decorate said can.

this was my savings tin. i loved that little can... i can still see the little pink flamingos, beach balls, and flip flops. nothing was more satisfying to me than to look inside, and see a rolled up stack of bills and a heavy clank of coins in the bottom. not that there was a ton of cash in it at any given time (it was probably all $1 bills), but i learned early in life the joys of saving.

when i would go to summer camp, i always had my little stash of savings to spend on (the most delicious) limeades (in the world) and a sweatshirt and a t-shirt. or on vacation to florida i ALWAYS had this strange obsession with little ceramic pigs? and then i saved up enough money to pay for my trip to taiwan. i never monitored how much money i spent in college once i got a debit card. i just... never spent a lot. basically, i'm saying i'm a saver.

aaaaand theeeeen we decided to move 20 hours away. with a house note. and no job. and $5 gasoline. but i just started this new book... it's called

it's about God using the hard things in our lives to shape us. taking a really big financial risk like this scares me. watching savings dwindle... freaks me out. but God has good plans for us, and after everything i've been through, i cannot deny God's hand in it all. God, give us the wisdom to make good decisions.

(also, on a small sidenote, i decided why i love reading inspirational christian books so much... my love? language is words of encouragement. i drive charlie CRAZY asking him to say something to encourage me (we're still working on the whole communication thing :p) and since it's maybe not charlie's strong-suit to throw out random, encouraging things at me, i think i'm going to have to learn to receive that elsewhere. like books such as these!)

to mama

Happy Mother's Day, dear Mama!


It is really hard to know where to begin thanking you for everything you've done for me.

For one, you gave birth to me! And were as healthy as possible in order to give me (and you other daughters) the best you could. I only hope I will be as non-complaining and self-sacrificing as you!

You taught us about cultures and read us missionary stories to give us a world view much larger than Russellville, AR. You matched every dollar I saved and scraped together so I could go on my first out-of-the-country missions trip with you and dad to Taiwan. Then there's also all the trips we took together to the Cherokee Nation :) What great memories!

Then, there's all the endless birthday cakes, parties and celebrations!


You were (are) a very brave woman to raise 3 girls! I know we were NOT always easy!!

You were a mediator, peacemaker, and the glue that held us together when we were moody or didn't feel like getting along.



You passed on your love for the beach to all of us! Even to our growing family... I can hear the waves now...

You cheered me on through high school with the trillion things I was involved in...

And then made HUGE sacrifices to cheer me on through college. I can't thank you enough for going back to work so I could get the education (both academic and LSI) I received from JBU. THANK YOU!




The summer I spent at home before our wedding was one of my favorites with you. Thank you for all the hours you spent with me working through every detail of the wedding. Thank you for planting zenias! Thank you for growing grass in planters! Thank you for helping me calm down when things went very, very wrong! And thank you for helping me plan the perfect wedding for Charlie and me.

Thank you for setting forth such a great example of being a mother and a wife! I learned so much from you and am endlessly grateful for the many ways you have shaped me.

You are beautiful, mama! I love you!!



And here's a shout-out to a few of my other favorite mommies:

Maw-Maw... you are the only Grandmother I have ever known... you are classy, beautiful, and caring. I don't know how you keep up with each of your grandchildren AND great-grandchildren! I love you!

Mrs. Annie... thank you for being my Louisiana mom! I can't thank you enough for raising my husband to be such an awesome God-fearing man!

Arisa, you are such a great mom to Nathan and Micah.. I can tell how much they love and look up to you, and they are lucky to have you in their lives!

Crystal, I know you and Nicholas have had to pave the way in many areas in this family, but I am so thankful to have your example of wife and mother!

And finally, my sister, Susan. Happy Mother's Day! I love the example you set as a working mom... when I look at you, I feel like there's nothing I can't do! You are brave, an adventurer, and you stay involved in everything. And you're awfully great with Caleb. I love you!

agh!

stressed out.
too much to do.
maybe i'm negating myself by blogging.

if i were blogging every day...

1. heels are so much cuter than flats. if i were short, i'd wear heels... a lot.



let's be serious. if only losing (a little) height were easier...

2. the end of the semester is always hard. i've pretty much given up, and i have 3 more tests. in one class. in 3 class periods. ha!

3. i am... so blessed. the finances for grad school really freak me out. on monday, charlie and i just paused and prayed that God would continue to open doors for us and that He would continue to provide. and this morning i opened my email to find a letter offering me a research assistantship! while it doesn't cover everything, it just feels like God is reminding me that HE is orchestrating everything and that He remains in control. i love this. and i definitely can't take any credit for it.. i know exactly where this offer came from. Thank you, Jesus!