Pernky Brewster

Did anyone other than me watch this show? I LOVED it growing up. Fortunately, my lovely sister Stacy remembered and got season one for me for Christmas. I've watched the first 6 episodes so far and had some pretty awesome flashbacks.

And then a pretty frightening epiphany.

I think that I have subconsciously turned my dog Punkin (aka Pernky) into Punky Brewster.

• Mr. Henry Warnimont is all alone until he finds Punky. I adopted Pernky because I didn't really know anyone in Louisiana (other than Charlie).

• Punky always sings "She's a maniac"... and don't judge me here... but I always sing that to Pernky. Because... Pernky is a maniac if I ever knew one.
  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mf21KunFU4Q

• Punky was abandoned by her mother. Pernky was abandoned by her owners.

• On the second episode I even started crying because Punky is so sweet and yet so unwanted. I think Charlie and I both have a calling in life to love and want things that are unwanted or forgotten. We just took in Charlie's childhood cat for crying out loud because she's too bad at his parents' house!

Maybe it's not quite so weird to you, but I laughed out loud when I realized I had adopted Pernky Brewster.

i can't WAIT for my colorado christmas!!!

word

i went to a chris tomlin christmas concert wednesday night. it was awesome. i actually didn't know it was going to be so much christmas music, but i loved it. do you ever really listen to the words? -really- hear them when you sing?
louie giglio also spoke in the middle of the concert. i want to blog about what he shared, so i can't take credit for these ideas. (but really, what ideas are ever -actually- original, anyway? it's prideful to think we're the first person to ever think of something. in all of history. of the billions and billions of people who have lived here.) yes, we are creative because He is Creator... i just think we all take personal credit for too much.

sorry for that rant.

back to louie.
he shared about what the birth of the Christ really meant to the people living at that time. the distance between the old and new testaments in the bible is only a page or two... but for the people of God, it was more like 400 years. i don't know about you, but when i don't hear from God for a week, i start to get worried. i don't like feeling like i don't know what He's speaking to me. but for the Israelites, who had heard from God over and over and over and over (much of it repeats because they, in human form, had such a hard time catching on)... but they heard from Him so much they had a book. then one day it stopped. pretty soon the last people who had ever heard a word from God were dead. and then generations went on never hearing a word. all they had were the stories... the growing doubts and questions... and probably, a sense of abandonment. "God, what do you want from us?" no word. "God, please guide us!" no word. "God, please! where is our promised king?" no word.

until one day.
after 400 years he decided to break his silence. at the end of 400 years he broke his silence with The Word... the Logos... the Christ. what brings me to tears is the way in which God decided to break the silence. Emmanuel... Christ with us... the first noise the Word made... was the sound of a cry. it was as if God was saying, "it's okay! i know. i know the pain you feel! i know your brokenness. i know how you have been awaiting your King... and i know it, because now i am living among you." He broke His silence with a wail that traveled across Bethlehem. a cry that the shepherds and angels and his earthly mother and father heard.

that's beautiful. he understands my brokenness to the extent that he chose to break His silence with the world by acknowledging it. with a cry. he understands your brokenness to the extent that He broke His silence by sending His son to live among us... to speak to us... to identify with us... to walk with us. Emmanuel.

O Holy Night! The stars are brightly shining,
It is the night of the dear Savior's birth.
Long lay the world in sin and error pining.
Till He appeared and the Spirit felt its worth.
A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices,
For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn.
Fall on your knees! Oh, hear the angel voices!
O night divine, the night when Christ was born;
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!
O night, O Holy Night , O night divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming,
With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.
O'er the world a star is sweetly gleaming,
Now come the wisemen from out of the Orient land.
The King of kings lay thus lowly manger;
In all our trials born to be our friends.
He knows our need, our weakness is no stranger,
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!
Behold your King! Before him lowly bend!

Truly He taught us to love one another,
His law is love and His gospel is peace.
Chains he shall break, for the slave is our brother.
And in his name all oppression shall cease.
Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we,
With all our hearts we praise His holy name.
Christ is the Lord! Then ever, ever praise we,
His power and glory ever more proclaim!
His power and glory ever more proclaim!

Resurrection and Life

"You don't have to wait for the End. I am, right now, Resurrection and Life." John 11:25

"When our hearts have been shattered by loss, we have an opportunity to welcome a supernatural power to our lives--that power is the power to live again on this earth when we'd really rather die. It is a power that displays the life of Christ in us like no other because it defies all odds. God becomes our only explanation for our emotional survival and revival. Perhaps the most profound miracle of all is living through something we thought would kill us. And not just living, but living abundantly and effectively--raised from a living death to a new life."
--Beth Moore

i killed a roach in my sleep.

that's just how much i hate bugs.
i felt him crawling on me in my sleep and flung him across the room. the best part is that charlie didn't believe me. possibly because of this certain incident of me waking up in the middle of the night screaming that there was a (monster) spider on charlie's chest. now, we really didn't question how i saw the spider until after we had turned the light on and tore our bed apart looking for it. yeah. i was sleeping.
but back to the roach. i felt him and his crunchiness and flicked him. a minute later i felt him on my arm and flung him across the room. when i told charlie in the morning he laughed at me. yes laughed. until he saw the dead roach in pernky's bed. HA!! truth is my vindicator.

go fish

when i was in college, someone came to leslye and my room and started looking at tesse (the betta fish). and he was fascinated with him. "it's so beautiful..." and i agreed with him... "it's amazing how little space they need to be happy." i replied, "yeah... i was just talking with someone about that the other day... how they grow in the little puddles in the rice paddies in asia... it's pretty incredible that such a beautiful, vibrant fish originates in mud puddles."
then he said something very striking. "yeah... it's kind of like people."

"[Humility] is the attitude of one who is like the soil. humility comes from the latin _humus_, fertile ground. the fertile ground is there, unnoticed, taken for granted, always there to be trodden upon. it is silent, inconspicuous, dark and yet it is always ready to receive any seed, ready to give it substance and life. *the more lowly, the more fruitful, because it becomes really fertile when it accepts all the refuse of the earth.* it is so low that nothing can soil it, abuse it, humiliate it; it has accepted the last place and cannot go any lower. in that position nothing can shatter the soul's serenity, its peace and joy." anthony bloom

we went to colorado!

charlie and i were so thankful to get to go to colorado to meet baby caleb and see susan and al as new parents. It was so fun to hold him!

look how sweet caleb is!i know his mommy wishes he would sleep a little more at night, but he is very even-tempered
one morning we went to a farmer's market... we got apples, apple cider (with no ingredients other than apple and spices!), beets, kale, and an assortment of mushrooms.
caleb really likes to look behind us at brown curtains. we decided he likes the light/dark contrast :)
charlie was so good with him!
i made him a pumpkin onesie. he's probably going to hate me when he sees this as a teenager.
we went on a gorgeous hike in the mountains
susan is awesome. she wore her one-month-old son hiking!


the new mama! she looks great!



we had a really great time! thanks for having us, susan, al, and caleb!

landscaping!/photo blog

several weeks ago, one of charlie's friends gave us tickets to the lsu/mississippi state game. it was my first lsu game.
we were -really- high up.
this perfectly depicts rufus and moomoo.

our house before:
Charlie and his horticulture friend, clint (thanks clint!)and after! well... it's not completely finished. we're going to put rosemary bushes and other herbs on both sides of the steps. maybe a flower or two, also.
but see!! much better. the small bushes are indian hawthornes... they'll fill in and grow together within a couple years. they're also supposed to bloom white in the spring.
we also have crape myrtles... a white on one end and a pink on the other.
yay!

This one is for stacy.... seeeeee! punkin is MUCH slimptier than toby or tiggy!
more puppy pictures

punkin patch

hey. it's been a while. i've been wanting to write and feeling quite uninspired. at least as far as concepts go.
i've decided to do at least one thing every day just for me. something that i enjoy and will make me happy. (you'd think that wouldn't be hard...?) yesterday's was simple. i made a french bread pizza because i had been thinking about it all week thanks to ethan leaving his in our freezer at work. so i went winn dixie and got a loaf. and the sauce? i made it. out of roasted then pureed eggplant, onion, bell pepper and tomato paste. am i allowed to say that i thought it turned out really well? i even smeared a little rocotta on before the mozzarella. mmmm. i love food.

i'm not sure what i'll do yet, today. but i'm bound to come up with something. maybe i'll watch the dogs chase bugs and run around the yard. or maybe i'll make a pumpkin cheesecake. i've really been craving one. (do you notice the food theme?)

last weekend i went to arkansas to visit my parents, sister, and college friends. it.was.awesome. sharing rooms, meals, couches, growth, experiences, tears, laughter and... lives with the same people for 4 years does something to you. i'm so thankful for them. soso thankful. also... thank you guys for welcoming charlie in... it's awesome to know you all love him like you love me.


in other news, this is a busy month. charlie and i leave wednesday for colorado!! we're going to see baby bear!! i can't wait to squeeze him!! okay, too many sentences ending with exclamation points. i'm just really excited!!!!

i have a nephew and i love him

welcome Caleb David Hunt!
September 26, 2010
5:48pm (?)
7.3lbs
19.5 inches long



Dear Caleb,
I wish I could be there to hug and squeeze you, but unfortunately I have to wait a while. But Uncle Charlie and I are coming to see you in just a few short weeks! I've heard you have a full head of hair and may possibly have your Papa Steve's chin. I hope you do. But you are absolutely perfect. Your mom and dad are going to be very good parents--I think you will always have someone to help you with your science homework! (Or ANY homework, for that matter!) (Both of your parents are very smart!) They've been praying for you since before you were born--and we know God has given you to this family for a purpose. God has big things for your life, Caleb! And I'm so thankful I will get to be a part of that. In the Bible it says Caleb had a different spirit than those surrounding him, and followed God wholeheartedly (Numbers 14:24). And I pray that for you.
I also pray that:
Numbers 6
²⁴ " ' "The LORD bless you
and keep you;
²⁵ the LORD make his face shine upon you
and be gracious to you;
²⁶ the LORD turn his face toward you
and give you peace." '

We love you, Caleb! Welcome to the family!!
Love,
Aunt Stephanie

lessons learned from lovie

(notice how our wind-breaker colors are now great wedding flower themes?!)

no, lovie isn't my MANLY husband, charlie. (i call him honey.) (obviously.) lovie is my beautiful, little sister, stacy. i'm probably the most fortunate of my sisters because i can call them both my favorite.. susan is my favorite big sister, and stacy is my favorite little sister. and while i am sure i have many lessons learned from susan... i want to focus on one learned from lovie.

stacy always wanted to cut her hair short... like a pixie cut. i always thought it would be cute, but you know how girls are. hair is kind of... important to us. and it can be scary to just cut off a security blanket like that. one that takes months-to-years to regrow. well, stacy went off to college and still couldn't chop her hair completely off, but decided to go blonde. and it was really cute. her roomie did it for her, actually. well, a few months? into the bleaching process, the bleach was left on too long by said roommate. Aaaaaaaannnnd stacy's hair may or may not have started breaking off. i believe she described them to me as "inch-long spikey things on the back of her head." and this whole situation was very tragic and made even more tragic when she went to get it cut into a haircut and the hairdresser sliced her ear with the scissors.

but seriously! look how cute it is!!

now. you may or may not be wondering what the lesson is. but hang with me... i have a point beyond how cute she is.

i could obviously never be sure of this, but i wonder if stacy ever would have cut her hair if she hadn't been presented with these circumstances..? i wonder if she ever would have known how great short hair looks on her..?

the same with me. i believe that God uses hard things in our lives in the same way: He takes our hair falling out and turns it into a cute haircut! he takes jobs we hate and turns them into defining experiences. he takes things we never would have chosen for ourselves, and transforms them into what we actually wanted all along. what a God of love we serve.

back and forth

dietetics.

sonography.

dietetics.

baby.

dietetics.

anything else.

dietetics.

etc/∞

(yes, that's the infinity symbol if you were wondering...)

i thought i was set on being a cardiac sonographer just because i couldn't figure anything else out. it's a year program and you come out of it making a very decent living.

then this weekend i had a conversation that reignited my love for nutrition. a friend told me she had high cholesterol and said she was using coconut oil instead of butter to cook with and that her mom recommended having a tablespoon of the oil each day. a little light bulb went off in my head and i remembered that coconut oil is a rare plant oil that is actually mostly saturated fat. and saturated fat (combined with a genetic element) determines your cholesterol more than the amount of cholesterol you consume, itself. and while i am unsure if there is definitive research on plant-based saturated fat versus animal-based... i think that could give her a good starting point on decreasing her cholesterol.
this whole conversation made me remember how much i love this field. and how much i wish i knew more about the topic and could give solid, educated suggestions to her.

so now i'm reconsidering taking the last few classes and GRE i need to get into grad school and then crossing my fingers (read:pray) that something works out. charlie feels so tied to the land here. but i can't let this go.


ALSO: i went to a funeral this weekend. the funeral of my dear friend amy's father. he was the sweetest daddy. and while it feels like he died out of time, it was encouraging and refreshing to see God glorified through the family and through the services. Dr. Frazier will always be remembered with love and joy and with reverence and with inspiration.
i was sad my visit was due to these circumstances, but it sure was great to see amy and a few other friends from college. love you, amy!!

don't become a slave to something that isn't real.

that's one of the reasons we don't lie.
but when you break it down, that statement has a LOT of other good implications as well.

mmm fruity

i want to react out of:

love

joy

peace

patience

kindness

goodness

faithfulness

gentleness

and self control

ALSO: love one another.

roadtrip anyone?

yeah.

it's been a year since i've seen most of those people... and i got to see almost all of them this past weekend. and i love them. lawton (the flowergirl being held by her daddy) stated to her mom, "mommy, i think i was in a wedding, and i think she's the girl..." and pointed at me. that probably means i don't see these people enough, but i will certainly take what i can get.

in addition, charlie and i celebrated our one year. and we broke out the wedding topper from our cake! my mom did and excellent job of wrapping it up, and it tasted great! i love you so much, charlie loup. thanks for continuing to teach me about love.

another flashback...

Saturday, July 28, 2007

Currently Watching The Science of Sleep By Gael Garc?a Bernal, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Alain Chabat, Miou-Miou, Pierre Vaneck see related i was just thinking... exactly 4 years ago i was about to start my senior year of high school. 4 years ago i was only 16 years old. (-that's- a scary thought.) 4 years ago i was so ignorant--naive may actually be a better word. i thought i was invincible just because i was a stubborn Christian. i didn't realize i hadn't committed certain "sins" only because the opportunity hadn't happened upon me. that's a humbling realization. my thinking has changed. i think i judge less often. i'm thankful we're constantly still far from over. this process i've been going through for over 7 months trying to find an internship is like nothing i've ever been through before. i don't know if i can accurately describe it. i suppose i'm not entirely accustomed to rejection--being rejected by more christian organizations than i can count has been hard. it's required me to redefine my worth and purpose and the way in which i make decisions. it's given me an opportunity to practice belief without striving and faith without struggle (although it hasn't been perfectly without struggle.) i almost feel as if i've been watching from the outside as God has changed my direction through closed doors (possibly because he couldn't change my direction through my changed heart. i think i -always- would have chosen india over the western hemisphere.) i've watched God patiently ask if i was -really- as willing to serve any of his people as i so readily said i was. and i am still trying to grasp the completeness of his love for -all- people. and being right in the midst of this process, i believe, has blinded me from certain issues that i should probably be working through now before i go overseas. i was thinking about this earlier today... i'm not sure if the illustration will make sense to you... but say, God wants to work among a certain people, but he's going to use someone like, say me, to do it. it's almost like he's pouring water into my hands for me to then give to someone (the metaphor being i am empty... not really having anything to give...) but even so, it's still possible that i could contaminate the water if i have a bunch of dirt on my hands. i could taint it with a bad flavor even though he is perfectly pure and clean and perfect. i want to know that i'm not going to taint what is pure and clean and perfect. i want them to see God's perfect -truth-... not my dirt. i'm frightened i'll be blindsided by it as i was blind to my high school pride.

one.

i am exactly 14 days away from our one year anniversary.
i've learned a lot... hopefully i shall blog about that for our anniversary... but i DID want to share one thing i have learned this past year.

in marriage: two become one.

i think it would be easy for either charlie or i to imagine what our lives would be like had we not gotten married. i might be a dietician. charlie might live in baton rouge working for the farmer's market. we could dream all day. but in all honesty... IT'S IRRELEVANT.

when two people are married and make a covenant before God and each other... they become ONE. one person. one flesh. their lives aren't the same. that new union is not supposed to look like one of the individuals or the other. it's a fresh, new thing. there may be certain relationships where only one individual makes decisions and does all the thinking, but i am proud to say charlie and i work really well together. yes, i dream. yes, i have opinions. but charlie has this way of keeping me grounded. he brings this stability into my life that i wouldn't have without him. we talk things through. we disagree at times. but in the end, we make unified decisions. i can rest in his final decision, because i know his character--i know he will always keep our (mine and his) best interests in mind.

so what is the point in wondering what someone would be doing if he or she weren't married? my covenant is first to God and to my husband. all we can do is walk that out as ONE.

the struggle

to struggle used to be
to grab with both hands
and shake
and twist
and turn
and push
and shove and not give in
but wrest an answer from it all
as jacob did a blessing.

but there is another way
to struggle with an issue, a question--
simply to jump
off
into the abyss
and find ourselves
floating
falling
tumbling
being led
slowly and gently
but surely
to the answers God has for us--

to watch the answers unfold
before our eyes and still
to be a part of the unfolding.

but, oh! the trust
necessary for this new way!
not to be always reaching out
for the old hand-holds

still in culture shock...

well. maybe not full-force shock. maybe more like a little sting. or something like that. it's amazing how i can live here for two years and still not catch on to cultural cues at all. at all.

example:

today at work we had a patient named joyce. (i hope it's not a hippa violation to say a first name..?) but in any case... i said "Oh, mrs. joyce, that's my middle name! i was named after my aunt." she looked at me and said, "Well... what is your first name?" I said "Stephanie." "Stephanie Joyce," she said. "Huh. You have two first names." to which i had NO clue how to respond. so i asked her what her middle name was... Marie. but then i was even more confused. marie can be a first name, too!! so i said "Ohhh."

so i was confused and trying not to be offended. two first names? i think stephanie joyce is a pretty name! was she trying to tell me that my name didn't go together? how dare she!

an hour or so later i brought it up to some of my fellow employees. heather nodded in agreement and said, "yeah... you don't have a catholic name."

*light bulb*

of course! i don't have a saints' name! duh. i didn't know this when i moved down here, so you might not either... but southern louisiana is about 80% catholic. so that means about 80% of the people down here have a catholic middle name. this all made me think. if i hadn't asked someone who understood, i NEVER would have figured out what "you have two first names" means. never. i would have been offended, when my patient was just stating that i must not be catholic. i wonder how many other cultural cues i miss... how many things i misunderstand just because... i misunderstand. ignorance. i hope to learn more and more about the people and cultures i am surrounded by.

swimming dogs

i've been promising to post these so my family can see how goofy our puppies are... here they are swimming at the pond! you can only see rufus' bad swimming skills in one... he's greatly improved with time :)

eats vegetables ; family pets a plus

Brother and sister looking for a forever home together

Teen looking for father to teach him football

Creative 13-year-old seeks home in suburbs

Pre-teen’s knock-knock jokes will keep you laughing


over the course of my travels, i have been to many orphanages and left my heart with many orphans. i was shocked in thailand when i learned that most of the children there HAD at least one parent still living. many of these orphans had been given up by a mother who was forced to abandon her children in order to re-marry and be cared for.
one unassuming day in college, it hit me. our foster children are just like their orphans. i think the amount of rejection you would have to be healed of (obviously by the Lord) would just be immense.
after being reminded of my desire to (possibly) adopt or foster, i decided to hop online to look up what the parameters are in the state. i was... horrified. i don't know what i thought i would see. but i felt like i was picking out a pet. it reminded me when i scrolled through profile after profile looking for punkin. this one has special needs... this one needs others to play with... this one needs work on discipline. maybe it makes sense... maybe the best way to get people interested in adopting older children is to... create little profiles for them? but really? they're real children with real lives and real hurts and real joys. i just wish there were a more dignified way.


come on Church, let's step up!

happy birthday mama!

pretty lady, huh?
i miss her like crazy because she 1) can be goofy and makes me laugh, 2) we have fun cooking together, 3) she gives me lots of good advice, 4) it's fun to go on walks with her and the dogs, 5) she's very wise, 6) she gives a great back-rub, 7) she's my mama.

i miss you, mom! sorry we couldn't be there to celebrate you!

happy father's day

on my drive to work today i realized that i never look at the lake. i never take time on my drive to admire how beautiful my new home is.

i took laundry (towels, pillow cases, and gowns) home with me over the weekend to wash because we didn't have enough time last friday. i washed, dried, folded, and loaded it all up in the hamper and set it by the door so i wouldn't forget it. well this morning i was nervous because our boss was working at our office (and i feel like i always do something goofy when he's there and he thinks i'm not a good employee...) so i made sure to leave early. wellllll. airheaded me forgot the laundry. sitting by the door. so i had to drive back home to get it. way to impress the boss.

and finally, i doubt anyone reads my blog that doesn't know him, but if you DON'T, this is my dad, steve. (yes, i was named after him :)) at church on sunday the pastor spoke about the role of fathers. he was adamant that his role as pastor was not to be the sole source of spiritual things for a family... but that the father should be the priest of the home and teach and instruct his children. the pastor isn't the church... the CHURCH is to be the church. i feel so fortunate to have the father i have. not only was/is he loving, instructional, and affectionate, but he taught/teaches us about spiritual things. i know very few people who can go to their fathers for answers like i can. i'm blessed to have a dad that knows the scriptures and context of scriptures like he does... that is so well read, and yet also so... real. he lives it. and i respect that so much!
i love you daddy!

an oldie, but a goodie

here's another old blog i found. it makes me miss dear JBU:

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Currently Listening Gregorian Chants for All Seasons see related at communion the other day i was watching people line up in front of the cathedral to take the sacraments. and it was like i was seeing people line up to receive abundant life from God. i felt this desperation... this realization that without going to God... i am left with nothing but emptiness and death. it was like i saw the bread of life in a new way. "come, all you who are thirsty, come to the waters and you who have no money, come and eat! come buy wine and milk without money and without cost. why spend money on what is not bread, and your labor on what does not satisfy? listen, listen to me, and eat what is good."

Oh, how I need that abundant life. I must only run to Him.

5 years ago today...

last night, i dug up my old blog on xanga looking for a poem i had written. i never found it, but that is quite possibly because i was so humored by my old posts. i was funny back then! so i thought it would be fun to occasionally put up excerpts from my old blog to show what i was doing on this day so many years ago.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Currently Playing Pretend You're Alive By Lovedrug see related tonight i was driving to hastings to meet some friends... and i looked up and there was this huge spider... and i didn't just want to leave it in there... so i dug around in my purse for something to kill it with and all i could find was my bible. so i smacked it. and i didn't get it all the way (it wasn't smashed enough to be dead.) and it fell onto the floor by my feet. so all this is happening when i am driving and i'm swerving and hoping i can catch a red light so i can look for it. no such luck. so i'm swatting at my legs and stomping my feet the whole time... you know... just in case it was crawling around down there and poisonous. well... the poison part didn't matter. it just needed to die. i first saw the spider right before the intersection at main and arkansas... and i never found it. it was a long ride to hastings.

Monday, June 12, 2006

Currently Listening Illinois By Sufjan Stevens see related the 34 year old in my class asked me out. i was definitely 6 when he graduated high school. yuck. i also feel really bad about something. (not about saying NO to the little man.) there's a snake living somewhere in the ivy by our pool. he slithered out at me TWICE on saturday. bleck. but i didn't get the hoe to my dad fast enough to chop it's head off... so i thought a good way to get it to come out would be to put the little frog he was chasing (that escaped by jumping in our pool) back in the ivy so the snake would chase him back out. poor little buddy never made it back out. i'm cruel.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Currently Listening Details By Frou Frou, Imogen Heap, Guy Sigsworth see related so my physics professor keeps saying "you're in here to learn how to think differently." well.. i like the way i think just fine! in fact... i think i'm a pretty good problem solver and "thinker" when it comes to anything that doesn't involve numbers or equations. the world doesn't work in equations. there's never a "fix it all" answer. so shouldn't we learn to think that way instead? maybe i'm just bitter because i make a terrible physicist.

If our God is for us...

i wish i had direction.
i wish i knew where "home" was.
i wish i could pick a career. soon. and be able to finish it within a year.
i wish i were confident.
i wish i had a niche.
i wish i were closer to my family.

i'm thankful God has plans for my future.
i'm thankful to have an expanding definition of what "home" is.
i'm thankful for the chance to dream and be creative.
i'm thankful for the confidence i have in the Lord and in my husband.
i'm thankful for my uniqueness.
i'm thankful to be close to the newest additions to my family.

sometimes i get really frustrated at the stage of life i'm in. i have to remind myself of the truth. there is always something to be thankful for. if God didn't do one more thing for me for the rest of my life, i would still have enough to praise Him for. for who He is... for what He's already done.

i don't know how to be fancy and embed the video onto my page... but i heard this song on the radio this morning and LOVE it. it was very encouraging to me... i hope it is encouraging for you, too.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlA5IDnpGhc

the natural state

we recently took a trip to arkansas! we actually started out the trip quite hilariously. we got on the road late and stopped by 3 different places looking for fresh shrimp. nothin. i think it must be scarce with everything going on in the gulf. when we got less than an hour down the road charlie started yelling and covering his mouth and nose with his shirt. it was pernky. at first i couldn't smell it... then it was the worst smell i've ever smelled. pernky. i guess she had a lot of trauma to her body when she was in the puppy mill... but every once in a while when she gets nervous, she oozes...? something? really foul. so we had an emergency on our hands. we kept the windows down until we got to a walmart to get febreeze and a pet store to get her a doggy diaper.
if this isn't amazing, i'm not sure what is.

after a few more delays, we made it to arkansas in 9.5 hours. ugh.

on sunday-tuesday we went up the northern arkansas to a log cabin. it was PERFECT. quiet. tucked in the woods. AIR CONDITIONED. fresh spring water... and bear creek right in the back yard! the men went fishing, we had s'mores over the outdoor fire one night... and we went canoeing down the buffalo as well as hiking around it!



after the buffalo, we went back to arkansas and had good family time together. we even went blueberry picking. i love a berry. and my family. the pictures don't do justice to susan's belly. it's big!