Tuesday, February 05, 2008
right when i figured out my life was lacking peace, i pictured myself teaching swimming lessons. every year when i teach i have between 4-5 young students (ages 3-7ish) that refuse to float. i explain it to them... i demonstrate it... i try to teach them that the more they relax and let me support them... the easier it is to float. both the water AND i will certainly hold them up (especially if the water can hold a "big" person like me up, i tell them.) so then... it's their turn to try it. i securely hold on to them, put their head on my shoulder so they can feel close to me and safe, and tell them to relax... it's just like laying down on the ground. but those 4 or 5 students... just CAN'T do it. they struggle and flail their little arms and legs... they won't lie flat, but are in more of a sitting position. and NONE of this is conducive to floating. in fact, it's impossible to float while flailing arms and legs. you have to be relaxed. after i had this picture... i saw myself as that little flailing child. my arms and legs going everywhere... grasping at my Teacher. He keeps telling me to relax.. that He'll support me... that all i need do is trust Him. yet... for some reason... i can't. for some reason my fear of the water (let's just call it the unknown... the future... ideas and injustices that i can neither comprehend nor grasp) prevents me from having peace. strangely enough, this picture that caused me to realize i am lacking peace was almost God's way of bringing it to me. seeing myself as that ridiculously flailing child has caused me to stop, think, and attempt to be brave enough to have faith and to trust. |
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