Thankful part 2

I have more to be thankful for than that first list.

I get to be the middle sister. I have a big sister, and I have a little sister. I get to BE a big and little sister. That's something special and fun. And plus, having sisters is the best. Having MY sisters is the best.

I didn't get into nursing school. I would not have made a good nurse. I thank God that he closed that door for me so I could do something that I really love.

He put it in my heart to be an RD and I was drawn to the program in Minnesota when he finally started opening the doors for me to go back to school. From the way I looked at the program and talked about the program, Charlie knew we would be moving to Minnesota. And it was 2 of the best years. The maple-syruping. The checking on Charlie's chickens. The cutting down fresh Christmas trees. The walks in the snow and playing with the puppies in the snow. The trip to South Dakota. The days and nights cozied up inside. The experiences I had through my program.

I applied for a fellowship to learn more about developmental disabilities. My professors guaranteed me a spot in the program because I was the nutrition student that was applying. Months after I applied and was on summer break, God spoke to me that I wouldn't get into the program. A couple days later, I got an email from a professor telling me that I hadn't gotten in (she couldn't understand why?!) but that she wanted to offer me an assistantship with her. It turns out that the fellowship was down-funded, so my assistantship was MUCH better paid with MUCH fewer hours. AND I got to work with leaders in the field of maternal and child nutrition. I even got to go to an all paid conference in Kansas City as a part of the experience.

I am thankful I know I have celiac disease. I feel so much better following the gluten free diet than I have in years. I don't ache all the time anymore. I'm thankful God provided that answer.

I mentioned it last night, but I am thankful for the childhood I had growing up. My mom was able to stay home with us--we did fun things with her. She'd have hot cookies waiting for us when we got home. She spent time with us, teaching us how to cook. She'd treat us on Fridays to a donut. She encouraged us to read. She read us books about other countries and missionaries so we would have a world-view.

I come from a long line of Jesus-followers. That's pretty special. My mom was telling me last night about how her grandmother prayed for her mom and siblings. Mom's mom prayed for her and her siblings. Mom prays/ed for me, Susan, and Stacy. And I will love and pray for my children. I will be able to pass on the long legacy of loving God and loving people to my children. That started before me and it will continue into my children's children.

We used to go to the beach every summer with all of our cousins. It was the most fun. We'd get sunburnt and jelly-fish-stung and find shells on the beach and write on the tables at Fudpuckers.

God has put a burning love in me and Charlie for family. It's the most important thing to the both of us. God's put it on our hearts to adopt and foster and graft the riches of the Kingdom into His little ones. That's something we'll do together. He's also given Charlie (and in grad school gave me) a vision for New Roads--of getting healthy food to people who don't have access to it. Of teaching skills and work ethic to kids. Of pouring into people. Of seeing His Kingdom come to earth.

I am thankful for the example my parents have set. Their relentless pursuit of God and authenticity. How they lean on each other and support one another. But how they always look to God.

I am thankful Charlie and I have fun together. I'm thankful for our walks in the back--scooping for crawfish, watching the birds, stalking the roseate spoonbills. Picking blackberries. Letting the dogs swim. Watching goofy chase bugs. Or when we would go to the dog park in Minnesota. Playing War and how Charlie wins EVERY TIME. Cooking together. Fishing together. Car rides together.

I'm thankful we found Punkin. A few weeks ago we took the dogs on a walk in the back, and lost track of Punkin. After looking for her for over 2 hours, we were both convinced she had been eaten by an alligator or had drowned. I was a mess. As we were driving home, we got a call from Risa. Charlie's aunt had just driven by, and saw a dog by a trashcan on the side of the road that looked like one of our dogs. Sure enough, it was Punkin who had walked over 2 miles and across 2 highways and a railroad track. It was a miracle from God. No doubt. That silly little dog was protected by angels!

I'm thankful that God was so real to me at a young age--and how I have years of experiences and encounters with God that can encourage me when I'm feeling discouraged.

i am blessed

A very blessed woman. When I think about my life--everything God has given me. The family life I had growing up. My godly parents. A good education both in high school and in college. Getting to attend JBU. Learning about integrating faith and knowledge.

My husband. Charlie deserves like a 5 page book on why I am a blessed woman. He's patient, kind, thoughtful. He arranged to take my car in to get worked on (and found me an alternate vehicle to get to work) because he heard my car making a strange noise. He prayed the most beautiful prayer for me tonight.  I have two dogs that I love. I get to have an awesome support system down here found in Charlie's family.

The simple fact that Charlie and I found each other--that God miraculously brought us together and connected us when we were just kids--wow.

I have a job . I have a job where I get to serve people God really cares about.

We didn't have trouble getting pregnant. I know so many couples do have a hard time and I think it can feel devastating.

We found a church we love and fit into. We share in their vision and mission and have met some wonderful people there.

My life is GOOD. God is GOOD. my future is going to be GOOD.

Romans 15:13 NLT

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

It's aaaaaa......

Healthy baby!!

Sorry, yall. I forgot to blog a couple of weeks ago when we had the anatomy scan ultrasound. We decided not to find out if we're having a girl or a boy--it's a surprise!

We took a trip to Arkansas last week--we got to see Susan, Alan and the boys--along with a lot of other cousins we don't get to see often enough. It was for my cousin Ella's wedding--it was gorgeous. A gorgeous day, a beautiful wedding--I'm so happy for her! (And happy for us that we all got to get together! It seems like the people getting married get the short end of the stick as far as actually getting to spend time with the people who come in for the wedding! I remember feeling that way at Charlie and my wedding).  But I AM glad we got quality time with family. I really wish it could happen more often (and with less jet-lag and stress on Susan and the kids!)

I did, however, pick up a cold-now-turned-terrible-cough on the way. Whew. Baby's gonna get abs from this one. I'm going to have to break down and get cough medicine so I can sleep tonight.

I didn't expect for so much to happen internally and emotionally during pregnancy. I guess I expected mood swings--getting mad at silly things--crying at silly things--but not deep, emotional things. Thank God for supportive parents and a MIL who prays--and that He is with me EVERY step of the way. What would we do without him? Seriously?

I suppose it's something we are always working on, but I need to see myself in His image. What's harder, is that I am needing Him to show me a vision of what that looks like as a mom. I know I technically AM a mom now--but it doesn't come with the same daily grind that will be here soon.

Jesus. you are faithful. Thank you.

grandparents

Growing up, I didn't have grandparents. I always remember being sad on grandparents' day at school because all my friends would have their grandparents come eat with them at lunch, and I wouldn't. I never even got to meet them. So grandparents were probably a little idolized in my mind.

So when I imagined myself having children, their grandparents were always a big part of that picture. I've always wanted my parents to be a big part of my kids' lives.

I'm now 20 weeks away from a baby and realizing... what my reality looks like. I don't live close enough to my parents for routine life. Everything will require planning and effort and planning. I know they will still be a big part of my kids' lives--it just won't look like how I always wanted it to look. I'm just so lucky to have the parents I have. I'm so so blessed with their wisdom and steadiness and uncomplicated love.

I know that now when we get together everything is so intentional and we talk and catch-up and really make our time count. And I'm thankful for that--I know that's how it will be with grandkids, too. But the things they'll miss (and that I won't get to share with them) just break.my.heart.

This is the most depressing post ever.

I get to see them in a couple of weeks. Also, I have to remind myself that God knows all of this. When we moved to Minnesota, I KNEW that God had Charlie in mind, too. And he absolutely did by giving Charlie the opportunity to work on an organic farm and learn how a CSA works. (Not to mention us just having each other for 2 years, which was an amazing time I will always cherish). So I know if I could say that about Charlie, the same is true for me.

You're so faithful, God. Thank you.

20 weeks

Welllllll I am officially half-way through the pregnancy! (Although we'll have to see if I go long like Susan does, in which case I am NOT half-way)! I am just feeling so much better than I did in the first trimester. More energy, no nausea. It's awesome. My friend Amy just reminded me to enjoy the "golden trimester" since I think the third is just kind of uncomfortable. If I HAD a complaint (which I really don't) it would be that I still feel like I'm an awkward size... IS she pregnant? I feel big already (scaaaary!) but I know I don't LOOK big and pregnant yet. And I'm not loving how clothes look on me, so thank you everyone for being gracious and just telling me I look good. Please continue to do that NO MATTER WHAT. Kthanks.



This was our pregnancy announcement on social media. We announced on my birthday. I thiiiiiiiiink some people who never see me didn't know how cheesily photoshopped this picture is. Even some people at work who see me every day didn't know...? But that's okay. It makes me chuckle.

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Stacy came into town this weekend! We went to New Orleans Friday (I took half-a-day at work). We went to the square and got Stacy and Charlie beignets and coffee. Risa, Stacy and Ethan went to a concert and got in laaaaaate.  Saturday night we went to the Harvest Festival in New Roads--it's funny because I think that's around the same week Stacy moved to Louisiana last year! I miss her. I miss having my family close. (This picture is a good example of how I feel like I'm an awkward size).

Our trip to New Orleans was fun, but frustrating. I have a gluten free app on my phone, and found a few gluten free restaurants close-by so I'd be able to have dinner there. Wellllllll we walked to one, and it was closed. Then I found the next one: closed. Then the next 5 closest ones were all $$$ or $$$$ restaurants, meaning they were out. I almost got panic-y because I was getting hungry and I get too sick to just order a salad somewhere and hope they prepared it safely. Charlie and Stacy were troopers and stuck with me and helped me figure out what to do. I just hate everything being about me. I HATE not being able to be flexible and pick the restaurant that we all want to go to. I hate that my only criteria for a "good meal" eating out is if I get sick or not. Almost all social situations revolve around food. Food is what brings people together! And sometimes I just feel.... out. It takes SO MUCH planning and energy! Social situations are really, truly the worst part of the disease. I imagine I'll get better at that part with time though. (And maybe they'll create a medicine by then!)

19 weeks

Soooo I'm pregnant! I think I've been kind of quiet on here for a while because 1) we hadn't announced yet, and 2) I haven't moved much in the last 3 months.

Can I just say morning sickness is not very much fun? And the name is misleading because you can throw up/feel nauseous morning, noon, and night. So pretty much from week 6-17 I slept, ate, and worked. That's pretty much it.

I'm feeling a lot better now--I've thrown up a few times this week, but for the most part it's not lasting all day. I have more energy, too--just feel better overall. Yay!!!!

Sometimes when you're that sick for 3 months, you forget what normal even feels like. What does it feel like to NOT be throwing up or wanting to throw up? Or be asleep or wanting to be asleep? I didn't take a nap this past Sunday and that was pretty amazing because I've taken 1 (or more :/) naps every single weekend since I got pregnant. (Not the mention the time or two my very wonderful co-worker found me powernapping in her office during my break(s).)

Being pregnant (for me) hasn't been glamorous.

I'm 19 weeks now. I really can't believe I'm almost half-way through the pregnancy! Baby is over half-a-pound and is 6.5'' not counting the legs! Apparently at week 20, you start counting the legs in length and baby will be around 10'' long. That's so amazing--I don't know how baby fits in there. Aaaaaand I'm sure I'll become more and more amazed (and aware) of that fact as we move along into baby's growth spurts.

I feel baby a little bit--but it's not terribly consistent yet. It's fun when I do though--I always want Charlie to see if he can feel it, but I don't think baby can kick that hard yet. Hopefully in the weeks to come he'll get to feel it. But he does talk to the baby several times a week and tells baby to go easy on me :) I guess it had never occurred to be before, but pregnancy is weird! You GROW a human inside of you. I'm growing a person. I'm probably also over-thinking it.

I ordered a couple of pairs of maternity jeans for my birthday, and I've just started wearing them. I still have a couple of large dress pants that still fit--and my jeans work okay with a belly-band--but maternity jeans are just so much more comfy! I'm going to get my dollars' worth out of these!

Hey baby--you are so special. God picked you out for your dad and me--he knew you'd be our first born. He knows everything about you. He knows that you're just what our family needs, and just what the world needs. I can't wait to meet you! Here's the scripture God gave me the first week we found out you'd be joining us:

James 3: 17-18
17 But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. 18 And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.[d]

We love you!

on my knees

Troubles chasing me again,
Breaking down my best defense,
I'm looking, God, I'm looking for you
Weary just won't let me rest and fear is filling up my head.
I'm longing, God I'm longing for you

But I will find you in the place I'm in, find you when I'm at my end,
Find you when there's nothing left of me to offer you except for brokenness.
You lift me up, you'll never leave me thirsty, 
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching 
I'll find you on my knees.

So what if sorrow shakes my faith,
What if heartache still remains,
I'll trust you, my god I'll trust you. 
'Cause you are faithful and 
I will find you in the place I'm in, find you when I'm at my end,
Find you when there's nothing left of me to offer you except for brokenness.

You lift me up, you'll never leave me thirsty, 
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching 
I'll find you on my knees, my knees. 

When my hope is gone, when the fear is strong 
When the pain is real, when it's hard to heal 
When my faith is shaken and my heart is broken and my joy is stolen, God I know that

You lift me up, you'll never leave me thirsty, 
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching 
Find you in the place I'm in, find you when I'm at my end,
Find you when there's nothing left of me to offer you except for brokenness.
You lift me up, you'll never leave me thirsty, 
When I am weak, when I am lost and searching 
I'll find you on my knees.