grandparents

Growing up, I didn't have grandparents. I always remember being sad on grandparents' day at school because all my friends would have their grandparents come eat with them at lunch, and I wouldn't. I never even got to meet them. So grandparents were probably a little idolized in my mind.

So when I imagined myself having children, their grandparents were always a big part of that picture. I've always wanted my parents to be a big part of my kids' lives.

I'm now 20 weeks away from a baby and realizing... what my reality looks like. I don't live close enough to my parents for routine life. Everything will require planning and effort and planning. I know they will still be a big part of my kids' lives--it just won't look like how I always wanted it to look. I'm just so lucky to have the parents I have. I'm so so blessed with their wisdom and steadiness and uncomplicated love.

I know that now when we get together everything is so intentional and we talk and catch-up and really make our time count. And I'm thankful for that--I know that's how it will be with grandkids, too. But the things they'll miss (and that I won't get to share with them) just break.my.heart.

This is the most depressing post ever.

I get to see them in a couple of weeks. Also, I have to remind myself that God knows all of this. When we moved to Minnesota, I KNEW that God had Charlie in mind, too. And he absolutely did by giving Charlie the opportunity to work on an organic farm and learn how a CSA works. (Not to mention us just having each other for 2 years, which was an amazing time I will always cherish). So I know if I could say that about Charlie, the same is true for me.

You're so faithful, God. Thank you.