feelings

I have a few minutes of my lunch break left.
Sometimes, when I self-examine myself, I see one of my biggest faults as being too emotional. I'm high. Or I'm low. I'm sad, or I'm happy. Whatever I'm feeling, I'm feeling it strongly.

Yesterday, for the first time in a long time, I saw it as a gift.
I observed a staff member berating a patient for missing breakfast and lunch. She was SO AGGRAVATED that the patient wanted a snack before supper after NOT EATING ALL DAY.

How do you get to the point that you're that hard? It probably WAS the patient's "fault" that she missed the meals, but I'm sorry. No one could do something "to me" that would make me feel okay about not feeding them. We have protocols for that.

I would rather feel intensely than not at all.