tmi

I was able to go home for easter this year. it was awesome. seeing the babies and my sisters and my parents. it was a great weekend. albeit went by entirely too quickly. but i will always take a weekend with those Galbos.

Mimi took Rufus to the vet yesterday. he thought rufus looked alright--he thought the weakness may be related to being kenneled for so long (but we've done that per vet recommendations!) but now he gets to exercise more, so maybe he'll be less depressed, too. but the best part was that the vet anointed rufus with oil and they prayed for him. i'm glad they did that. i love that goofy dog.

i'm so tired.

i think surveyors are coming here next week. they're down the street this week. yay a whole week to freak out before they come here! i'm going to try not to. but i kind of am.

okay. tmi. i think about babies all the time! it doesn't help that caleb and asher are the most precious babies to ever live. now. to convince charlie that kids are as cool as i say they are :)

okay really tmi. but i feel like we're getting close to time to start a family whether it is fostering or having a baby. i love watching charlie interact with L--the 13 year old he's hired. i guess God puts these things inside of us, so why fight it?

okay i'm done saying too much.

tomorrow's monday.

again/already.

i mowed both of our yards today. i think it probably took me a total of 3 hours. i think. i started the big yard around 1:30--and finished the false river lot at 5. that's a lot of mowing and i have the sun burn to prove it.

and i had twigs in my hair. and a centimeter of grime of my back. that made me feel even more legit.

then i got to catch up with a dear friend :)

and i made a stir fry tonight with green onions, swiss chard, edamame and quinoa. it was quite tasty! i flavored it with sesame oil, rice vinegar, soy sauce, ginger, and cayenne. i forgot the carrots! i think carrots would have been good in it.

May is national foster care and adoption month. i'm going to see if my pastor will let me put up a table at church with all of the children in our region who are available for adoption. (i can't take credit for the idea--our "mother" church in baton rouge has a ministry focused on this year-round). but i'm excited. i'm not sure that now is our time to start fostering, but it's something i feel so strongly about--i need to get involved somehow!

discern

yall. i think i've lost my gift of discernment. i think it's gone. i used to be (creepily) accurate with discerning people's character.

since i've been at my job, it's all over. i can't tell a cat from a coon.

maybe it's a good thing? 90% of the patients have criminal histories. maybe God just wants me to love everyone because they all deserve to be loved? maybe he doesn't want me to sense the darkness like i used to be able to do? i'm not sure. but seriously. i don't think i have it anymore. 

feelings

I have a few minutes of my lunch break left.
Sometimes, when I self-examine myself, I see one of my biggest faults as being too emotional. I'm high. Or I'm low. I'm sad, or I'm happy. Whatever I'm feeling, I'm feeling it strongly.

Yesterday, for the first time in a long time, I saw it as a gift.
I observed a staff member berating a patient for missing breakfast and lunch. She was SO AGGRAVATED that the patient wanted a snack before supper after NOT EATING ALL DAY.

How do you get to the point that you're that hard? It probably WAS the patient's "fault" that she missed the meals, but I'm sorry. No one could do something "to me" that would make me feel okay about not feeding them. We have protocols for that.

I would rather feel intensely than not at all.

somewhere I'd rather be

with my family (yay easter!)

at the beach with my family 

At grand isle with Charlie

At grand isle with Punkin

in the back

this one is just because i love camels. for some strange reason.

TAXES.

omyheavens. taxes.

double solitaire

so. today i played cards with a patient. let's call her Bebe. i'm not sure why, but that's what we're gonna call her. she was in a car accident when she was in high school (i believe) that affected her cognition. she's probably 50? now? but she's very child-like. we got a deck of cards and i shuffled them, but then a patient approached us and quickly picked up the cards and said we could NOT play with them because her name was on them! it was true, and i apologized (i wasn't trying to take anyone's cards!) then Bebe and i didn't know what to do. the rec director went to find us some, but then Bebe got a gleam in her eye and said, "wait! i have a deck of cards!" then she started reaching down into her shirt and pulled out a deck!!! i cracked up (i wish you could have been there) and i said "ms Bebe--i can't believe you keep a deck of cards in your bra!" she was giggling hysterically with me and said, "i don't! i don't wear a bra!" she taught me a game called double solitaire. she was extremely patient with me every time i asked a question. and yall. Bebe was so honest that every time i made a mistake, she'd point it out and let me replay my cards. she grinned and said in her slow, southern drawl, "i try not to be a cheater!" she said her dad taught her to play when he was alive and that the reason the game is so fun is because it's all left to chance. you never know what card is going to come up next. so true, ms Bebe. be honest and have fun because you never know what's going to come up next.

hot

i'm zonked. this has been a long week. draining. i've also been kind of emotional. and hot. i've been hot flashing all day. maybe it's the humidity? it just feels so hot even though it's not that hot. i was huffing and puffing this morning because i sweated all night and sweated while getting ready this morning because charles won't turn the a/c on. and so i was huffing and puffing and he told me to get over it. (he's sooooooo super sweet sometimes). aaaaaand then he looked at the thermostat and it said 75. WHY WAS I SWEATING?! i may or may not have tried to diagnose a patient today with celiac disease. sooo that's cool. i'm hungry. i'm picking up GF brownies tonight for mom-in-law's birthday (to be celebrated tomorrow). aaaand i kind of want to make an extra batch and eat all of them. i miss when charles would write me long letters. i probably always will.

Currently mad at...

Starburst jelly beans. As I now believe they are contaminated with trace amounts if gluten. Enough to knock me into bed at 730 and asleep (now).