yay 26

Can I throw myself a quick pity-party?  Joyce Meyer's voice, who lives in my head, is telling me that's a terrible idea.  But I just want to complain.  Just for a minute.

My heart has been giving me a LOT of trouble.  I don't mean heart-emotions, I mean heart-muscle.  Last night was the WORST.  I couldn't fall asleep. Or stay asleep. I kept jerking awake with chest pains and fluttering and palpitations.  It's just gotten worse and worse since it started a few weeks ago and it freaks me out!  Completely.  Your heart is kind of the one thing ya really need to live.

Charlie woke up and got up to check on me last night.  He convinced me to lay down again (I was just sitting at the computer crying like a big baby).  And when we got in bed, he pulled me as close as he could to him and just squeezed me until I fell asleep.  He was trying to make me feel safe.  He did.  I love that man.

I had my cardiology appointment today.  I don't know anything yet.  They just ran tests.  I cried like a big baby there, too.  They had to get two different nurses to talk to me to try to encourage me.  That was kind of embarrassing.

After that, I went to school and took a test that I am 99% sure I failed.  FAILED. (Not made a B. Probably not even a C. I couldn't think while I was taking it). and because I've been so distracted by this that I can't concentrate.  On school. On housework.  On Charlie. On anything.

But tomorrow's my birthday. And I'm going to wear something cute even though everyone will be able to see my heart monitor cords and recorder hanging out everywhere.  I'm GOING to have a good day.

Yay 26.

**EDIT: I WILL say though... that since we got rid of gluten in the house I've been getting sick much less often.  So at least that's pretty awesome.