Charlie and I decided to put all of the letters and packages we saved from each other into chronological order. It started in 2004 when I was a senior in high school... and the letters quit around 2008 when I moved to Louisiana. I will have to wait to count them, but I think there are hundreds of them. It's... pretty incredible. (And this doesn't count the millions of emails/instant message hours that began in 1998....)
In 2006 we kind of lost touch. We were both busy. We both dated other people that year. But I remember the first letter Charlie sent me after a long hiatus on March 8, 2007. He and his girlfriend were in the process of breaking up and he thought I had maybe gone through something similar so he wanted to know what I thought. Can I read you my response? It is SO TOTALLY ironic. So very very ironic and... yeah.
March 12, 2007
".... It's funny to me how you said she reminds you of me (or me of her, I guess) because when I would read her xanga {blog} I deeply identified with her. And then you brought up {my past relationship}. From what I understand, you broke up because she wants something different in life. She wants change and adventure and a change of scenery. Location is key. She's scared of being stuck in Glynn, Louisiana. This is similar to why I broke up with {my boyfriend} (but maybe with an important distinction). For me, it wasn't about the location he desired... it was about mindset. I was scared that he just wanted a "normal" American life with a normal job and family and a white picket fenced house. Which, OKAY, whatever, there's nothing innately wrong with that--except it's not me. I could live in Russellville... I could live in Siloam Springs... I could even live in a place like Glynn as long as I wasn't settling. It's not location. It's mentality. It's effectiveness. Could I live there and still accomplish the purposes God has for me? God has called me to big things. Can I do that in a small southern town? Maybe. Maybe I won't even live overseas. Maybe I will do fundraising for a Nutritionist organization I develop. I'll live where he tells me to, but I cannot and will not be hindered by small thinking. Like C.S. Lewis says, 'We are half-hearted creatures, fooling about with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us, like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in a slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by the offer of a holiday at the sea. We are far too easily pleased.'"
And as you all know, 1.5 years later, I moved to Louisiana. 2.5 years after this letter we got married and I moved to Oscar (which is 5 minutes from Glynn.) Oh, God, how you prepare our hearts.
love. this. so. perfect.
ReplyDelete-crystal