time for a job blog.

I'm really pretty lucky to have the job I have. 3 days a week it's only an 8 minute drive to work. I have some flexibility with taking time off. It's easy... low stress. And it pays as well as any job (unfortunately) I can find right now. I also work with some pretty fun people.

The down-side? No benefits. Not a one. And. Once again. I've discovered that I NEED autonomy and creativity in a job. The job is so simple and mindless that I zone out all day and make stupid mistakes. The less I have to think, the less I think.

Last weekend I got to go up to Arkansas for an event my college job was putting on for seniors. I got to talk on a panel about living with legacy after college. It was honestly hard to process the journey I've been on since college. I was a director of Leaders' Scholars Institute at JBU. I thought about leadership and legacy constantly. Weekly... daily, I was allowed creativity, imagination, criticism of our work, LEADERSHIP. Now? I have to search for it. I have to ask God to help me feel purpose in what I'm doing, because technically, I'm just a tech. I'm easily replaceable. It requires no skill. I believe He's shown me why I am in the place I'm at right now... but it's a struggle to find complete satisfaction in that. Maybe just because I'm selfish and I'm in it for me :)

Charlie and I have had a little life-change that I think ties us here for a while. All my dreams about grad-school kind of went out the window. For now at least. (It's NOT a baby. Just in case you were wondering.) It makes me wonder if being a tech at a physical therapy clinic is all there is for me. Not allowing me to use the creative, problem-solving, and other gifts God has given me. I know good can (and is) coming from this job... but it's so difficult to look for. And just be content.

Ugh. I don't know what God has for me in the next few years. I'm sure it's GOOD. I just hope I will hear His voice to identify the purpose in it all.