p90x

i don't remember exactly how old i was, but sometime in high-school-ish, i started participating in lent. i can't even remember the reason i started doing it, but it's becomes something i look forward to/dread every year. it's a love-hate relationship, really.
in the younger years, i almost always gave up chocolate. chocolate or sweets. but mostly just chocolate. i used to think that was the hardest thing i could do. but since then, i've done some more creative fasts.
my senior year of college, i felt like i needed to give up makeup. i guess it was a time in life when i was really insecure with how i looked... i relied on my little eye-liner security blanket. and it was a challenge. even though i think i -never- looked in the mirror the entire 40 days (so i wouldn't have to see myself...) to my surprise, people really didn't notice. they'd say there was something different about me... but normally guessed something wacky. like my hair. or complexion.
and then this year, i decided to DO something, instead of give something up. exercise. every day. 40 days of exercise. do you know me? do you know i HATE to exercise? and this isn't just a light yoga video... this is P90X. this is what crazy people do. and i hate it. i do. we're almost done. i haven't lost any weight. i still can't finish any (but 3) of the 12 videos. but somewhere along the way, i started enjoying feeling more fit. being exercised-sore instead of tense-sore.

one trend i've noticed in all my "fasts" is that it brings out the worst in me. obviously with more gunk coming out with more extreme fasts. again with the love-hate relationship. i think it's good to practice some discipline. it's good to do something you don't want to do. it's good to push yourself. it's good to be uncomfortable enough for the bad stuff to start making its way out. really, i should probably do these things more often.

AND. even though i say i hate it... it's inspired me to try running once lent is over! i found a training program called "couch to 5k"... so within (at the most) 9 weeks, i should be able to run 3 miles! i've never been able to comfortably run one! yay!