grandparents

Growing up, I didn't have grandparents. I always remember being sad on grandparents' day at school because all my friends would have their grandparents come eat with them at lunch, and I wouldn't. I never even got to meet them. So grandparents were probably a little idolized in my mind.

So when I imagined myself having children, their grandparents were always a big part of that picture. I've always wanted my parents to be a big part of my kids' lives.

I'm now 20 weeks away from a baby and realizing... what my reality looks like. I don't live close enough to my parents for routine life. Everything will require planning and effort and planning. I know they will still be a big part of my kids' lives--it just won't look like how I always wanted it to look. I'm just so lucky to have the parents I have. I'm so so blessed with their wisdom and steadiness and uncomplicated love.

I know that now when we get together everything is so intentional and we talk and catch-up and really make our time count. And I'm thankful for that--I know that's how it will be with grandkids, too. But the things they'll miss (and that I won't get to share with them) just break.my.heart.

This is the most depressing post ever.

I get to see them in a couple of weeks. Also, I have to remind myself that God knows all of this. When we moved to Minnesota, I KNEW that God had Charlie in mind, too. And he absolutely did by giving Charlie the opportunity to work on an organic farm and learn how a CSA works. (Not to mention us just having each other for 2 years, which was an amazing time I will always cherish). So I know if I could say that about Charlie, the same is true for me.

You're so faithful, God. Thank you.

20 weeks

Welllllll I am officially half-way through the pregnancy! (Although we'll have to see if I go long like Susan does, in which case I am NOT half-way)! I am just feeling so much better than I did in the first trimester. More energy, no nausea. It's awesome. My friend Amy just reminded me to enjoy the "golden trimester" since I think the third is just kind of uncomfortable. If I HAD a complaint (which I really don't) it would be that I still feel like I'm an awkward size... IS she pregnant? I feel big already (scaaaary!) but I know I don't LOOK big and pregnant yet. And I'm not loving how clothes look on me, so thank you everyone for being gracious and just telling me I look good. Please continue to do that NO MATTER WHAT. Kthanks.



This was our pregnancy announcement on social media. We announced on my birthday. I thiiiiiiiiink some people who never see me didn't know how cheesily photoshopped this picture is. Even some people at work who see me every day didn't know...? But that's okay. It makes me chuckle.

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Stacy came into town this weekend! We went to New Orleans Friday (I took half-a-day at work). We went to the square and got Stacy and Charlie beignets and coffee. Risa, Stacy and Ethan went to a concert and got in laaaaaate.  Saturday night we went to the Harvest Festival in New Roads--it's funny because I think that's around the same week Stacy moved to Louisiana last year! I miss her. I miss having my family close. (This picture is a good example of how I feel like I'm an awkward size).

Our trip to New Orleans was fun, but frustrating. I have a gluten free app on my phone, and found a few gluten free restaurants close-by so I'd be able to have dinner there. Wellllllll we walked to one, and it was closed. Then I found the next one: closed. Then the next 5 closest ones were all $$$ or $$$$ restaurants, meaning they were out. I almost got panic-y because I was getting hungry and I get too sick to just order a salad somewhere and hope they prepared it safely. Charlie and Stacy were troopers and stuck with me and helped me figure out what to do. I just hate everything being about me. I HATE not being able to be flexible and pick the restaurant that we all want to go to. I hate that my only criteria for a "good meal" eating out is if I get sick or not. Almost all social situations revolve around food. Food is what brings people together! And sometimes I just feel.... out. It takes SO MUCH planning and energy! Social situations are really, truly the worst part of the disease. I imagine I'll get better at that part with time though. (And maybe they'll create a medicine by then!)

19 weeks

Soooo I'm pregnant! I think I've been kind of quiet on here for a while because 1) we hadn't announced yet, and 2) I haven't moved much in the last 3 months.

Can I just say morning sickness is not very much fun? And the name is misleading because you can throw up/feel nauseous morning, noon, and night. So pretty much from week 6-17 I slept, ate, and worked. That's pretty much it.

I'm feeling a lot better now--I've thrown up a few times this week, but for the most part it's not lasting all day. I have more energy, too--just feel better overall. Yay!!!!

Sometimes when you're that sick for 3 months, you forget what normal even feels like. What does it feel like to NOT be throwing up or wanting to throw up? Or be asleep or wanting to be asleep? I didn't take a nap this past Sunday and that was pretty amazing because I've taken 1 (or more :/) naps every single weekend since I got pregnant. (Not the mention the time or two my very wonderful co-worker found me powernapping in her office during my break(s).)

Being pregnant (for me) hasn't been glamorous.

I'm 19 weeks now. I really can't believe I'm almost half-way through the pregnancy! Baby is over half-a-pound and is 6.5'' not counting the legs! Apparently at week 20, you start counting the legs in length and baby will be around 10'' long. That's so amazing--I don't know how baby fits in there. Aaaaaand I'm sure I'll become more and more amazed (and aware) of that fact as we move along into baby's growth spurts.

I feel baby a little bit--but it's not terribly consistent yet. It's fun when I do though--I always want Charlie to see if he can feel it, but I don't think baby can kick that hard yet. Hopefully in the weeks to come he'll get to feel it. But he does talk to the baby several times a week and tells baby to go easy on me :) I guess it had never occurred to be before, but pregnancy is weird! You GROW a human inside of you. I'm growing a person. I'm probably also over-thinking it.

I ordered a couple of pairs of maternity jeans for my birthday, and I've just started wearing them. I still have a couple of large dress pants that still fit--and my jeans work okay with a belly-band--but maternity jeans are just so much more comfy! I'm going to get my dollars' worth out of these!

Hey baby--you are so special. God picked you out for your dad and me--he knew you'd be our first born. He knows everything about you. He knows that you're just what our family needs, and just what the world needs. I can't wait to meet you! Here's the scripture God gave me the first week we found out you'd be joining us:

James 3: 17-18
17 But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. 18 And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.[d]

We love you!