time for a job blog.

I'm really pretty lucky to have the job I have. 3 days a week it's only an 8 minute drive to work. I have some flexibility with taking time off. It's easy... low stress. And it pays as well as any job (unfortunately) I can find right now. I also work with some pretty fun people.

The down-side? No benefits. Not a one. And. Once again. I've discovered that I NEED autonomy and creativity in a job. The job is so simple and mindless that I zone out all day and make stupid mistakes. The less I have to think, the less I think.

Last weekend I got to go up to Arkansas for an event my college job was putting on for seniors. I got to talk on a panel about living with legacy after college. It was honestly hard to process the journey I've been on since college. I was a director of Leaders' Scholars Institute at JBU. I thought about leadership and legacy constantly. Weekly... daily, I was allowed creativity, imagination, criticism of our work, LEADERSHIP. Now? I have to search for it. I have to ask God to help me feel purpose in what I'm doing, because technically, I'm just a tech. I'm easily replaceable. It requires no skill. I believe He's shown me why I am in the place I'm at right now... but it's a struggle to find complete satisfaction in that. Maybe just because I'm selfish and I'm in it for me :)

Charlie and I have had a little life-change that I think ties us here for a while. All my dreams about grad-school kind of went out the window. For now at least. (It's NOT a baby. Just in case you were wondering.) It makes me wonder if being a tech at a physical therapy clinic is all there is for me. Not allowing me to use the creative, problem-solving, and other gifts God has given me. I know good can (and is) coming from this job... but it's so difficult to look for. And just be content.

Ugh. I don't know what God has for me in the next few years. I'm sure it's GOOD. I just hope I will hear His voice to identify the purpose in it all.

easter saturday

If I believe one thing about God and the sacrifice of His son, I have to believe in redemption.
The one scene I vividly remember from The Passion of the Christ is when Jesus is carrying the cross to Golgotha, He is met by a friend who is very distraught. Jesus looks him in the eye and proclaims "I make all things new!" That was and is His heart. That is why He made the sacrifice He made. To make ALL things new. You. Me. All creatures. All creation. He is making all things new... into His likeness.
The "Saturday" after his crucifixion, I can imagine, was a dark time. I am sure Christ's disciples and followers were wondering where the redemption was... wondering how all things could be made new in death.
I believe we are living in the Saturday of Easter even now. The sacrifice has been made. The damage has been done against the kingdom of darkness... and yet the Kingdom is already, but not yet. We're waiting in faithful anticipation on the promise that has been made to us.
This is a time where we can allow our faith to grow and mature. We can seek His redemptive power. We can allow ourselves to die with Christ in order to be resurrected with Him in the next day.