Pneuma

During worship this morning we sang a song about how God is our healer. I was thinking about something my dad said in one of his sermons a while back--about how how we look to God to bring healing--and he is that--He is healer. But He's even more than that. He brings LIFE. In my mind's eye I saw how God brought clay together and breathed life into it. And it became human. Or how He breathed into the valley of dry bones and everything became alive. He breaths life.

Our sermon this morning was about the Holy Spirit. P Timmy said that the word used for the Holy Spirit in the New Testament was "pneuma" (I looked at Charlie and said, "Breath!") And that's essentially what the root of the word means. The breath of God. It brings life and power and refreshing. Even more than healing, God, the Spirit, brings life.

I am learning a lot about myself right now. Learning a lot and realizing how little I know. I like to be in control. Or... I like to try to control my life. TRY being the operative word. I know I've got to start letting that go. To start releasing it. I know the best way to do that is to release it to God. But then I get all, "I have to listen to God--I have to hear what He's saying and do everything right and don't mess it up and be sure I'm hearing Him all the time and doing what He says when He says it am I sure that was God? Am I sure that's what He said? Don't mess it up!" Which basically makes me in control again which was the whole thing that needs to change. What a vicious cycle.

I really do want to change. I really do want to follow the Spirit's leading and be less in control all of the time. But I honestly don't know how to do that without trying so hard that it makes me in control! blah! God, give me wisdom. Show me how this works.